What If Success Isn't About Achievement?

The Freedom Within

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Hi Friends,

Earlier this week, I wrote about the difference between being a high achiever and a healthy high achiever. But what if the secret isn’t about achieving more—or even better?

I recently spoke with a client who seemed to have it all—a successful career, a respected executive title, and the recognition and material possessions that come with years of hard work. But as we spoke, I could see they weren’t satisfied. They finally paused and said, “I just don’t get it. I feel like I’m constantly chasing and making it to the next level, but none of it ever feels like enough.”

They went on to explain, “It’s like every time I hit a goal, I’m already thinking about the next. I’m proud of what I’ve built, but at the same time, I feel exhausted. I thought I’d feel differently by this point in my life and career. I'm successful, you know? Is this all there is? Is this it?”

“Is this it?” is a question I regularly hear from high achievers and one I faced during my recovery from burnout nearly five years ago. For many, it sits at the heart of why we achieve. It’s a way of being that I call ‘proving mode,’ where people feel driven to validate their worth through achievements, external recognition, or comparison. We achieve to ‘prove’ ourselves–to others or ourselves–often at the expense of our sense of happiness or meaning.

Like my client, I defined my success for years by the external markers I’d accumulated. Maybe you know this mode, too: success means meeting targets, moving up, and adding another ‘win’ to your list. But in proving mode, contentment and fulfillment always feel out of reach—like they’re right around the next corner. And despite how exhausting this cycle can be, stepping away from it feels almost impossible. We’re conditioned to think that if we just achieve one more thing, that feeling of “enough” will finally arrive.

It wasn’t until I burned out that I started to wonder:

What if this endless need to prove myself was keeping me from something more meaningful, something I might miss if I didn’t pay attention? 

And, what if there were another way to live–a way that wasn’t about proving anything to anyone, including myself?

As I shared with my client, there is another way. Instead of continuing to push forward from a place of proof, we can choose to live from a place of purpose. 

In my book Live Your Opus (forthcoming 2025), I call this Opus Mode: a way of living that isn’t about validation but about connecting with an inner purpose that brings lasting meaning and fulfillment. Opus Mode brings a sense of grounding, peace, and satisfaction that grows from within rather than from reaching yet another goal.

Fear Mode vs. Opus Mode

Looking back, I now understand that much of my drive to achieve stemmed from living in what neuroscientists call fear mode. 

In fear mode, we’re propelled by the worry of not being enough—of losing ground, falling behind, or not measuring up somehow. We accumulate achievements, titles, and status symbols as shields, unconsciously or consciously thinking they’ll protect us from feeling “less than.” 

Neuroscience refers to this state as a “reactive mode,” where we’re constantly alert and look to external validation to give us a fleeting sense of security. The ongoing need to prove ourselves to others and ourselves is an endless and draining cycle; eventually, we will hit a breaking point.

Opus Mode is similar to what neuroscientists refer to as heart mode.¹ In Opus Mode, our purpose, values, and well-being take priority over validation and external pressures. We still set goals and want to achieve them, but they align with an inner sense of meaning rather than external expectations or rewards. 

Suppose you wanted to improve your health, for example. In fear mode, this goal might be fueled by a desire to look a certain way or meet others’ expectations, leading you to chase quick fixes, compare yourself to others, or push yourself to the brink in terms of exercise or diet. The focus is external, and while you might achieve short-term results, the satisfaction doesn’t stick, and self-doubt returns.

In Opus Mode, however, the same desire to improve your health is driven by a commitment to personal well-being and respect for your body. So, your actions would feel genuinely supportive and fulfilling, like enjoying regular movement, eating nourishing foods, and investing in rest. You’re no longer reacting out of fear of not measuring up; instead, you’re living from a place of calm strength, self-awareness, and intentionality.

This approach, where your motivation is intrinsic, allows you to engage with your health goals sustainably. Over time, this creates a sense of fulfillment and self-respect that isn’t dependent on external approval—qualities that last far beyond any specific achievement.

What Holds Us Back from Living in Opus Mode?

Kelly Flanagan

, a highly respected psychologist shared an article on his Substack this week; he frames the ‘proving mode’ as a game you can’t win, which I thought was a perfect fit to cite here:

“The shame game, or the worthiness game, or the identity game. The marriage game, or the dating game, or the singlehood game. The career game, or the entrepreneurial game, or the leaving-a-legacy game. It just doesn't exist. We made it up a long time ago to compensate for the pain of being a vulnerable little one amongst other human beings who were also in process. You can’t win a game that never even started. But you can do something even better. You can be free of it.”

This sense of being free is alluring yet elusive. One reader’s comment on Dr. Flanagan’s article caught my eye, as it honed in on the complex relationship we have with proving ourselves.

“What does one do with freedom? Where is the purpose if there’s no endgame?”

These great questions show that moving away from proving mode leaves us feeling open and vulnerable–it’s completely unfamiliar territory for most of us.  If you’re used to striving, how do you stay disciplined and driven if you’re no longer trying to “win” at something? And how do you find a sense of purpose if things are no longer about proving our worth?

I invite you to consider that there’s a different source of energy and drive—one that doesn’t come from running toward success or from failure. It’s an inner sense of purpose, a deep-rooted Why that comes from connecting with what matters most to you. This inner alignment is the fuel that shifts you into and sustains Opus Mode. A place where your achievements no longer define you; instead, they reflect the person you’re choosing to become. Pursuing goals from this place of inner alignment with who you want to become means your discipline and motivation are grounded in something lasting rather than fleeting. 

Reconnecting with Your Why

Living from Opus Mode requires identifying what matters most to you—your why. The why behind your actions becomes the steady, unshakable anchor for your motivation. This inner purpose clarifies your goals and fuels your commitment to the journey.

If you’re curious to try this for yourself, you may want to start with these simple reflections:

• When I think about my goals, what’s the deeper reason I want to achieve them? What feels meaningful about them to me? (These will help you discover your WHY.)

• If I imagine myself looking back in a few years, what change or impact would I feel proud to have made in my life or others? (These will help you discover your WHY.)

• What makes my WHY deeply meaningful to me, and how can I reconnect with it today? (If you already have clarity about your WHY.)

• How would I feel if I lived each day guided by my Why? What one action can I take to begin doing that? (If you already have clarity about your WHY.)

Opus Mode is about living with intention, embracing purpose, and finding fulfillment within yourself. As you explore this new way of being, you may find that motivation and discipline arise naturally, fueled by a source deeper than fear—a source that no title, possession, or external recognition can touch.

If you’re stuck, ask yourself, What might it look like to live from the heart? I think you’ll find more to discover within than you ever imagined.

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I’m Janine Mathó, and I am writing Live Your Opus, a book for ambitious people who want ‘more’ in their lives, careers, or businesses but sometimes struggle to get there. As always, thanks for being here. If this resonates, please share this letter with others who might benefit. Thank you!

Until next time, be well!

I publish on Substack twice a week, on Mondays & Thursdays. The format of this letter is evolving as I write my book, so I look forward to your comments and input. Subscribe here, and now you can join hundreds of people reading my letters on LinkedIn. You can learn more about me and my work here.

If you want to achieve success that feels as good as it looks, here’s how I can help you:

🤝 Work 1:1 with me.

📋 Join the waitlist for the second cohort of Project Opus—an invitation-only program for entrepreneurially-minded women.

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1. Opus Mode aligns with and is rooted in key concepts in neuroscience and psychology literature around emotional regulation and the nervous system, purpose-driven approaches to living, self-compassion, and wellbeing.