Why are you waiting?

A Lesson from Bangalore

I’ve just returned from a weeklong trip to spectacularly vibrant India. I spent most of the time in Bangalore and at an Ayurvedic retreat centre with an intimate, global group of leaders working to help people across the globe–including children and adults–thrive in the modern world through education, learning, and spiritual development. The days were spent connecting, unlearning and learning; my heart was opened by community companionship and the finding of so many kindred spirits in one place. I’ve arrived home feeling refreshed, revitalized, and alive! I’ll be incorporating my learnings and experiences and sharing them with you over the coming weeks and months.

The Quest

On day three of the retreat, I found myself on a quest in the vibrant city of Bangalore. It was a sunny, warm day, and six of us, a mix of East and West, mostly strangers to one another, parted ways with the larger group in the middle of Clubbon Park, a vast, green oasis in the middle of the city lined with symmetrical paths and tall trees with winding aboveground roots. As we met up, I felt relaxed and curious about the quest and my new teammates.

Walking through the park, our faces lit up as we noted the orange flowers of the forest-flame trees and exotic birds chirping, and wondered what it would be like if we were not our forty-or-fifty-something-year-old selves at that moment but school children or teenagers on a school trip. We posed for photos as we discussed our mission: to help each other ‘find what we need’ from this incredible city and devised a plan to do just that. 

The quest creators had given us several envelopes with times written on them, each to be opened at different points in the day; we carried them with curiosity as we moved through the park on to some sightseeing of historical buildings and statues. Then, as if we’d warmed to each other and the city were beckoning us, we dashed into two Ubers, driving through the city to a sandalwood store and a store with statues of goddesses, all part of completing our quest.

Once we had found what we were looking for, we paused on the sidewalk with our trinkets, mused over how much we’d already bonded in such a short time and headed off to a pub for a drink and a rest.

A rest turned into a conversation and many laughs as we moved from a not-quite-right pub to another and encountered challenges ordering.  An hour quickly passed, and we realized we were supposed to reconnect with the larger group at the pick-up point in just thirty-five minutes. We also remembered the final envelope–we’d completely forgotten to open it!

The final envelope challenged us to ‘up the ante’ on our quest, give it a bang, and make it more memorable.  Within five minutes, we were outside the bar on the hunt for something concrete to help us remember this quest well beyond the day–we’d decided on bracelets, but where would we find them? 

With thirty minutes to spare, we ran from store to store and then remembered that we’d seen some terrific ebony bracelets at the sandalwood store–that was it! 

With twenty-five minutes left, it became a game of divide and conquer.  Three of us–including me–went to find the bracelets while the others decided how to get from where we were to the meeting place.

Off we ran! Back around the corner, up the big road to the noisy intersection. Rush hour had just begun, the sun was now overpowered by clouds, and raindrops began to fall.

And that’s when it happened.

Learning how to cross the street is something most of us accomplish in grade school. But crossing the street in Bangalore is unlike crossing any street in the Western world–it’s an invigorating and challenging experience, at least the first time! Especially because there are no crosswalks.

Picture this: A three to four-lane road accommodating six or seven (sometimes eight) lanes of haphazardly organised cars, trucks, buses, tuk-tuks, motorcycles, bicycles, and a few horses and buggies.

Then add sound: A cacophony of horns coming from each of those vehicles, each trying to follow the not-so-linear path of the other and honking repeatedly to one another to help keep the line and avoid hitting each other.

Then, amidst this beautiful, unchoreographed chaos, which somehow works very well, add people—on sidewalks or, in cases where there are no sidewalks, lined up or walking the edges of the roads. Mothers carrying babies, school children, delivery folks, tech and business people, elderly, market vendors and more, often on their phones and waiting for buses or friends or to cross the street.

When you want to cross the street, you briefly check the traffic, hold your hand out as though you could magically stop all of the incoming vehicles, and begin to move forward, walking between the cars if needed. It sounds simple, but trust me, it takes practice!

So there we were, my new colleague and I, having rushed to the edge of the curb; the only thing separating us from the sandalwood store was a wide road to cross in what seemed to be a chaotic intersection filled with vehicles, people, noise, and…rain!

And…I hesitated.

Being from Delhi, my colleague is no stranger to crossing the street in India. So, before I knew what was happening, she grabbed me by the hand. ‘What are you waiting for?’ she exclaimed, ‘This is India; we don’t wait, we’re moving!’ And with that, she put her hand out to the incoming cars and pulled me as we ran across the street.

Stop Waiting

I share this story because the minute my colleague spoke those words out loud, it was like I had received a perfect headline for my trip–at least one of them. 

One of my key takeaways from India is: ‘Don’t wait! And don’t think about it for too long!’

• Don’t wait to build that school or network of schools.

• Don’t wait to start that nonprofit.

• Don’t wait to travel to connect with potential partners.

• Don’t wait to try something new.

• Don’t wait to subscribe to this newsletter I write each week.

Although I had my own life-is-short lesson four years ago when my mother died in a car crash, and, as a coach, I help others remove mental and emotional blocks so they can take that next step today, the truth is that I also sometimes hesitate. And not just on that curb, either.

As I keep upping the ante on myself, new blocks can get in the way. For example, as I build my businesses, there’s an even bigger vision that I want to catalyze in the world, one I know I’m uniquely prepared to instigate, but I’ve hesitated.

I could say it’s because I’ve been busy, but that’s not it. The reality is that, although I can see the vision clearly, I’ve hesitated because I can’t yet see ‘how’ to achieve it. But, as many have experienced, not knowing ‘how’ to go for it can lead to hesitation and, in some cases, paralysis.

I’m grateful to my newfound friends and colleagues in India and a coach I’ve recently met for sharing their experiences and reminding me that knowing ‘how’ I’m going to accomplish a huge vision isn’t necessary, at least not at first.

Most crazy visions seem unattainable at the beginning. I’ve always found comfort in believing that there’s a better path to my dreams than I can possibly see and that the reality of those dreams is likely better than I can imagine.

• I remember being a single mom with a vision for a future life with a partner; I had no idea how I’d find that person, but I did, and we’ve been together for just over thirteen years now.

• When I first decided that I wanted to live and work abroad, I was leading a statewide nonprofit in the US; making the leap to global work seemed like an impossible dream. But, once I put that vision out into the world, it happened within six months. Two years later, I moved to Europe, where I still live and work globally.

• When I was first raising money for a cause that I believed in, most people told me that I could never raise the kind of capital I had in mind. I didn’t let that deter me, even though I had no clue how to raise that kind of money. I just kept moving forward, one conversation at a time. To date, I’ve raised over $30M for initiatives that I care about.

So, if you’ve got a big vision for a change you want to see in the world, a product you want to build, a book you want to write and publish, or a change you want to make in your life–don’t wait!  

You don’t need to know ‘how’ you will accomplish that vision or goal, at least not at first. Set the vision as your intention and goal. Then, start telling people about it.

As a fellow writer,

Dan Blank

says, “…give yourself permission to take a risk. Inherently, this is where the magic happens, where what you [want to] create connects with someone deeply.”

A big vision takes time to achieve. So hold it out there as your shiny, bright future, and then begin in the present.  Do what you need to do to care for today, AND get moving on your future. 

You. Must. Begin. And then let the universe (or a higher being, if you’re religious) step in, grab you by the hand, and pull you forward.

Because if you hesitate, you’ll never cross the street.

Life is short. Stop waiting!