Stop Optimizing. Start Mastering
The inner work that steadies you when everything keeps speeding up.
👋 Hi Friends,
Welcome back to Live Your Opus, a weekly newsletter offering research-backed insights and real-world practices for creating success—in life, work, and leadership—that feels even better on the inside than it looks on the outside.
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Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about what helps us stay grounded when everything around us keeps accelerating.
Not long ago, I was speaking with a group of entrepreneurs about the pace of building something new—how relentless it can feel when the landscape keeps shifting beneath your feet.
One of them, let’s call her Ali, described what so many founders and leaders feel but rarely say aloud.
“Everything is changing all the time,” she explained. “I set priorities for myself and the team, and then they change. I feel the pressure. Everyone else seems to be further ahead, already launching and raising. But the constant shifts are hard to manage.”
We started talking about how to stay steady when the world won’t stop moving and when you can feel the heat rising.
A few minutes later, Ali turned to another entrepreneur in the room and asked, “How did you handle this kind of constant change?”
The other person shared their approach—practical, tested, solid. Ali nodded with visible relief. She got what she needed for that moment: a system.
And she wasn’t wrong. The constant pressure of starting a business is real, and it’s healthy and normal to feel it when you’re the founder. In fact, most of us feel overwhelmed by pressure these days, whether it’s job-related or in response to the state of our world.
But here’s the truth: to stay the course—to sustain your energy and create meaningful success—you need both grounding and systems.
But the order matters.
Grounding first, then the system.
It sounds simple, but that order changes everything. Because even the best system can only organize what’s on the surface. And, it might make you more efficient as a result, but you won’t be more centered.
I’ve seen this pattern across my work, in founders, executives, and, at times, in myself. When I’m building something big, I can easily get lost in the mechanics: spreadsheets, plans, processes.
All useful. All important.
But even systems built with purpose can start to lead instead of serve when we forget to nurture what actually steadies us from within.
Here’s another way I’ve seen leaders navigate the very same storm.
Optimizing vs. Mastering
I work with another founder, let’s call her Margo, who runs a large, global organization with thousands of customers across multiple continents, and a remote team that spans time zones. Despite the pace, she moves through it calmly, almost rhythmically.
Watching her lead is like watching a conductor guide an orchestra. There’s movement, responsiveness, and improvisation, but the rhythm is set from within.
Now that kind of fluid leadership doesn’t happen by chance. Margo knows she has a choice in how she shows up to lead. She rejects the ‘start-up hustle’ culture entirely. Instead, she is intentional about cultivating the kind of calm, inner peace that enables her to be driven by awareness rather than adrenaline.
She begins each week by reconnecting with her rhythm and that of her team. She knows what’s happening in their lives—when someone’s ill, caring for a child, or stretched thin—and she encourages rest and care, just as she does for herself.
Like most founders, she works long hours. To power herself, she meditates daily. She protects her mornings. She prioritizes movement and diet and fiercely protects her sleep.
Working with her, I’m constantly amazed by how she stays rooted in her vision without clinging to the path that gets her there. She trusts—and even welcomes—the idea that the way forward might unfold differently than planned, and even on a different timeline. She stays open to what may come.
Many systems support Margo’s leadership and organization, but the strongest support comes from her commitment to self-mastery.
What is Self-Mastery?
Self-mastery is the ability to recognize your internal state and choose your responses to the external world from a place of alignment, not reactivity. It’s not about suppressing emotions or being perfect; it’s a daily practice of returning to presence, especially when life is messy. Mastery is what enables you to remain steady under pressure—without losing your humanity.
When you master yourself, you:
Know who you are beneath the noise.
Notice your emotional and physiological responses in real time.
Pause before you react.
Understand what drains and restores your energy.
Choose actions that align with your values, even in stressful situations.
Self-mastery isn’t something you’re born with; it’s a set of inner muscles you build over time.
As therapist and mindset expert Marisa Peer shares, much of what blocks us from self-mastery is not a lack of capability, but inherited, unconscious beliefs—often the idea that we’re “not enough.” These beliefs, absorbed early, become the silent scripts that govern our reactions at work and in life. With practice, though, we can break those patterns and scripts and replace them with ones that support our wholeness.
The stories I’ve shared here reveal a deeper pattern: most of us try to steady ourselves by perfecting the system—optimizing, refining, organizing.
But systems can only take us so far. Because underneath the calendars, to-do lists, and productivity tools, there’s a more fundamental question at play:
Am I optimizing myself—looking outside of me and refining what’s familiar to me so I can better manage the now?
Or am I mastering myself—looking within and expanding who I am so I can meet the moment and what’s next with clarity and composure?
That’s the fundamental distinction: self-optimization manages; self-mastery leads.
The Science Behind It All
We live in a culture obsessed with optimization—measuring our steps, sleep, and focus time. We even turn rest into recovery metrics and add reflective practices to our to-do lists so that we can check them off.
Optimization feels productive because it gives the nervous system a hit of certainty—a measurable sense of control. The problem is that our brain’s reward system can’t distinguish between real progress and the appearance of it that comes through that control. So we chase the next fix: a better app, a cleaner system, or a more efficient workflow.
When we operate this way, our bodies remain locked in a state of low-grade stress. Cortisol levels rise; heart-rate variability drops. The prefrontal cortex—the part responsible for creativity, empathy, and long-term vision—narrows its focus to short-term survival.
We become more efficient but less imaginative; more disciplined but less connected.
When we focus on self-optimizing, we essentially organize our outer world while slowly depleting our inner world.
Self-mastery, on the other hand, works from the inside out. It’s the ability to regulate your internal state. To stay grounded even when the external world is chaotic.
In neuroscience, this is known as interoceptive awareness, the ability to sense and respond to internal signals before they escalate into stress or fatigue. It’s what allows you to shift from reaction to response, and from control to clarity.
Education expert Tony Wagner describes mastery as the deep competence that comes from curiosity and deliberate practice. Marisa Peer would say it begins with taking command of the mind—the ability to choose thoughts that serve rather than sabotage. Physiologically, self-mastery strengthens the regions of the brain that support emotional balance, empathy, and long-term perspective.
Self-optimization refines what you know. Self-mastery expands who you are.
Optimization depends on tools. Mastery depends on your presence.
Optimization asks, How can I control this?
Mastery asks, Who must I become to navigate this?
Self-mastery is less about tightening control and more about expanding consciousness. It’s what allows you to respond creatively, rather than reactively, even when life changes without your consent.
The 3R Reset: A Practice
So, if self-mastery is an ongoing pursuit, how do you practice it in real-time, inside a week full of deadlines, decisions, and shifting priorities?
You can begin with a simple, repeatable reset you can do in under two minutes, right between a Slack ping and your next call.
Think of it as moving the idea from your head into your body–that’s where mastery lives.
Recognize. Notice the thought or pattern running in your mind. Ask yourself: Where am I trying to control instead of connect?
(Example: “I’m spiraling into planning mode because I feel behind (or unprepared, or like I’m not ready…”)Regulate. Pause. Breathe. Bring your awareness back to your body. Feel your feet on the floor and your breath moving in and out of your lungs.
(Give your nervous system a real-time downshift.)Reorient. Ask yourself: “What’s really going on here? How do I want to feel in this moment? What action can I take to feel that way?” This brings you back into heart-centered conscious choice, not control.
(Example: “I want to feel clear, not frantic—so I’ll take five quiet minutes to clarify one priority, then act from there.”)
Each time you practice, the reset becomes faster and steadier.
Nearly all of us are navigating constant change. The secret is committing to the inner work first, because the steadier you are inside, the stronger you lead outside. And yes, there will be moments when we need a system, and fast—both matter. The art is learning the order: grounding first, then the system.
Mastering yourself is a foundational part of living your Opus, the mindset and method I share in my upcoming book, Live Your Opus. Two powerful shifts: that your life is your Opus—your masterpiece—and that you are your greatest work—will set you free from overwork, other people’s expectations, chronic stress or burnout, and the quiet ache of living a life that doesn’t quite fit. It’s time to reconnect with yourself, remember what matters, and build a life that feels like yours.
When you come home to who you are—beneath the noise, beneath the roles—everything shifts.
Curious? Pre-order your copy today! (In the US and abroad)
Until next time, be well!
Praise for Live Your Opus
“If you’re a high achiever who hustled your way to success but lost yourself along the way, this book delivers. Janine Mathó offers a grounded, practical path to align your ambition with what matters most to you.”
—Mel Robbins, New York Times bestselling author of The Let Them Theory and host of The Mel Robbins Podcast
“Live Your Opus is a wake-up call for high achievers who are ready to stop running on empty and start living on purpose. If you’ve been chasing success, always wondering when ‘enough’ would finally hit—this is your essential guide.”
—Dorie Clark, executive education faculty at Columbia Business School and Wall Street Journal bestselling author of The Long Game
“So many of us reach a moment, quiet and often hidden, when success begins to feel strangely hollow and the life we’ve worked so hard to build no longer fits. In Live Your Opus, Janine Mathó meets that moment with uncommon grace. This is not a book of easy answers, but a brave and generous companion for the inner work of returning to oneself. With clarity and care, Mathó helps us remember something essential, something we may have known once but lost track of along the way. That vitality, meaning, and contribution are not separate paths, but one path walked in alignment with the truth of who we are.”
—Stephen Cope, author of The Great Work of Your Life