Hello, and welcome to Live Your Opus!
I am thrilled you stopped by to check out this weekโs postโwhich I am SO excited to share!
When youโre done reading or listening to this, youโll feel empowered and know exactly what to do when thereโs too much noise around you or in your head, and youโre struggling to hear yourself.
You know that feeling, right?ย
We all have those days and weeks when it feels like weโre spinning too many plates in the air and waiting for one to crash down. Or maybe weโre the ones spinning in circles.ย
Perhaps thereโs a lot of change happening at work. Or, youโre working on a new project or part of your business and learning and building new skills. Or, maybe youโve been travelling a lot for work or fun and struggling to start or return to your routine. And, if youโre juggling so much with your family and work, it can feel impossible to focus.
I would say that when we feel overwhelmed by our life or something at work, nine times out of ten, we really struggle to hear ourselves. Itโs so hard to think and act when weโre amidst all that chaos. Our mood is affectedโwe feel frustrated, irritable, or exhausted. Our motivation is affectedโwe feel like throwing in the towel. Even our sleep can be affected!
So today, I will share with you a few distinctions that can help you reframe, reset, and reconnect with yourself so that you can keep moving forward. I first heard the idea of distinctions from Rich Litvin, an incredible coach with whom Iโve enjoyed working.
The best part is that everything Iโm sharing with you here is free and backed by science, and you can apply it to your life instantlyโwith no additional help! I hope you will share this article with people you love so that more people can access this life-changing information.
If youโre a new subscriber or someone forwarded this post, I want to welcome you to the Live Your Opus family. Iโm Janine Mathรณ, your Transformation Guide. Iโm on a mission to empower and inspire high achievers like you everywhere with the tools and expert resources you need to raise the bar on your dreams, lives, and work and achieve more meaningful, sustainable outcomes faster.ย
Now, letโs dive in and get you moving!ย
When youโre feeling overwhelmed, here are six distinctions and actions that really work to support you to pause, reframe, reset, reconnect, and move forward.
1. Who comes first: You? Or your family, friends, clients, or work? Put yourself first.
Myth: You must put other people first, so they think highly of you and know youโre a high performer.
Truth: If you donโt take care of yourself first, you canโt deliver the best care for your family, friends, clients, or work. When you are overwhelmed, make sure youโre treating yourself like your most VIP client.ย
Actions:ย
Get back to basicsโdrink water, eat well, move your body, and sleep (eight hours for men, nine for women).ย
Repeat.ย Repeat. Repeat.
Refer to the Blue Zones Power 9 for simple guidelines on caring for yourself and living healthier and longer.
2. Whatโs ruling your life? Routine or Choice? Simplify through a routine.
Myth: Routines are important for managing work but not important for managing yourself (plus theyโre boring).
Truth: Routines help simplify the number of choices you make in a day, and they are incredibly grounding during uncertain times (which is now). When you feel overwhelmed or have a lot going on, simplify your life.
Actions:ย
Reduce the number of decisions you must make.ย
Create and maintain a simple routineโor, if you donโt like that word, rhythm.ย
Adopt a simple morning and bedtime ritual or routine.ย
You can also establish routines with loved ones, like simple dinnertime rituals, conversation starters, or assigned jobs.
Refer to James Clear's Atomic Habits for a deeper understanding of the value of routines in simplifying our lives and helping us become the people we want to be.
3. Do you have a destination? Or are you just taking action? Pause and use your filter as your compass.
Myth: When things feel urgent, itโs important to prioritize what needs to be done and take action quickly.
Truth: When things feel urgent, itโs important to pause before taking action to check with your filter and then take action.
Actions:ย
When things feel urgent, pause for a moment and take a few deep breaths until you can hear yourself think.ย
Plug back into your dreams and values:ย
Whatโs your ten-year dream or mission?ย
And what are your top three priorities and values for this year that are taking you towards that 10-year view?ย
Write these down, keep them somewhere visible and reconnect with them daily.ย
Use your dreams and values as a compass to filter your decisions about what to do each month, week, and day, especially when feeling overwhelmed.
Refer to Live Your Opus with me, Janine Mathรณ, to explore ways to stay grounded in your dreams.
4. Are you focused? Or trying to do it all? Tiny steps are best.
Myth: Taking big steps helps you make the most progress in the least amount of time; itโs important to get it all done ASAP.
Truth: Trying to get it all done is damaging when you're overwhelmed. Tiny steps, taken each day, add up to real progress; theyโre especially important when you feel overwhelmed and donโt have the energy or stamina for big steps.
Actions:ย
To help you focus, select one thing you want to accomplish or one relationship you want to attend to:ย
Whatโs the tiniest step you could take right now?ย
Take that step (only!).ย
Go back to #1, #2 and #3 above to refresh and reset.
Tomorrow (after a good nightโs sleep), you can take another step.
Follow David Hieatt on LinkedIn for tips on staying the course.
5. Are you consuming or creating? Stop consuming so you can create.
Myth: You should stay on top of email, your field, social media and local and world news.ย
Truth: Your attention is your most valuable resource; you must use it wisely and reserve it if you want to create.
Actions (there are many!):ย
Reclaim your attention.ย
Try practicing news sobriety. Take a break from the news; your mental health will thank you.ย
Limit your email responses to once or twice a day (at designated times), and turn off notifications on your phone or desktop so they donโt disturb you. (Donโt worry; I promise that people will be so impressed with your output that they will forgive you for not responding to their email within a few minutes).
Either limit your social media use to a designated time of the day or temporarily delete the apps off your phone.ย
All of the above should help you have increased focus and attention and feel ready to create.
Not sure where to start? Use #3 and #4 above to get started.
Subscribe to Fewer, Better Things, by
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6. Are you mastering or sabotaging yourself? Shut down the negative voice in your head.
Myth: Heed the voice in your head who criticizes you for feeling overwhelmed; she knows whatโs best for you.
Truth: The voice in your head is a child who wants to protect you and keep you inside your comfort zone. When youโre overwhelmed, itโs particularly important to have strategies to handle negative thoughts, as they may sabotage your ability to progress.ย ย
Actions (there are entire books on this topic!):
Try to guess the age at which you first heard that annoying voice in your head who offers all the unsolicited advice on your life. Most people find that their voice is less than 10 years old. Remember, you are hearing a 10-year-oldโs opinion of you and your choices, making it easier for you to take the actions below.
When you hear the voice, pause, give it a moment of your attention (like you would with a child), and then provide it with a positive countering opinion.
For example, when the voice in your head says, โWho are you to be putting yourself before your [children, spouse, job]!โ You can respond by saying, โI am a terrific [parent, partner, teammate] because I am taking care of myself so that I am then able to take better care of my [children, spouse, job].ย ย
Keep doing this. Over time, that voice will weaken while your voice is strong.
Repeat #1 and #5, care for yourself and clear your attention so you can focus.
Many self-sabotaging behaviors can prevent progress. The Mountain is You by Brianna Wiest is the best book on them.